Kratos vs. Feminism

" I too am a feminist...of vengeance..."

” I too am a feminist…of vengeance…”

God of War has never exactly been a politically correct game. Kratos has a …gift for over dramatic gore and sex that cannot be rivaled in the video game world except by a few legends. Now, no-one that has ever played God of War should be expecting anything other than this, but the developers may have pissed some people of with an trophy in Kratos’ latest game, God of War: Ascension.

The trophy in question was named “Bro’s before Hos”, and was awarded for beating the Classical crap out of Fury (something that is totally in line with Kratos as a charcter). Apparently  some people found the juxtaposition of brutality against mythical females and the word “Ho’s” offensive, and Sony released this statement:

“We have created and will soon push out a patch for God of War: Ascension that alters the title of one of the game Trophies. The text was offensive to some members of our community and impacted their enjoyment of the game,”

The trophy will now be known as “Bros before Foes”, but that really doesn’t fix a thing, does it? All but the most naive people will still know what the trophy means. And maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think that, particularly in a game like God of War, you can’t expect deep social change from a game centered around decapitation and dismemberment of Ancient Hellenic deities.



So Cute...Until they are wiping out your planet.

So Cute…Until they are wiping out your planet.

PETA has an interesting relationship with video games. From there take on Cooking Mama to there attack on the noble and nostalgic icon that is Pokemon, Pokemon: Black and Blue, they have pretty much universally missed the point. While I could see some basis for there previous arguments (however strained), their most recent entry into video game satire just doesn’t make any sense…

“PETACRAFT: Heart for the Swarm wants to raise awareness about how sweet and cuddly the Zerg are. You know, since they are animals, and thus need defending.


PETA, we need to talk. It is all well and good to defend animals, but sometimes animals are the enemy. Take, for instance, the Zerg. From the wiki:

“The zerg are a terrifying and ruthless amalgamation of biologically advanced, arthropodal aliens. Dedicated to the pursuit of genetic perfection, the zerg relentlessly hunt down and assimilate advanced species across the galaxy, incorporating useful genetic code into their own”

I better the hell not see you putting out a depressing add showing mangled zergling rolling about in the corpses of a firebat…goddamn advertisements…


What’s Better than Bacon? Guns. What’s Better than Guns? BACON GUNS!




Do you like Bacon? If not, please drive to your nearest supermarket, by a pound of delicious maple bacon, fry it up, and consume. Then write back and say “yes I do like Bacon.”

Now, what if you could put bacon on a gun? Good or Super good?

Now there is an available download for Call of Duty: Black Op II, in which for the low, low price of 160 Microsoft Points, you will now be able wrap your favorite weapon in bacon.

Now, paid DLC usually irks me a little bit. It often seems unnecessary, or a cheap way to get a ton of cash. However, I must say that I am totally in favor of this particular bit of DLC. Bacon on guns?! Sign me the Hell up.
Skryim goes on Spring Break

Skyrim is universally lauded as an amazing game, but lets face it: there is a butt ton of snow. Go east: Snow. Wander West: Snow. Not that this is a bad thing, but lets face it; it can get pretty darn boring.

Well, what about a tropical vacation?

Mods are a wonderful thing, and Soolie has gone above and beyond and completely overhauls the climate of the land of Skyrim, transforming it into a beautiful south shores paradise. Does this make sense? no not really, but it is a nice change of pace for sure. One thing that really gets me is the sounds you can hear. the sound of Rainforest animals and birds, not to mention the odd macaw flying by, really sells the mod. Now, whether or not we’ll see anything like this in Skyrim’s next expansion, Redgaurd, remains to be seen. I for one would love to see some of these mod assets used in an official capacity.


Thieving is like, totally the pain of the World.

You're Already Looking Pretty Goth There Garrett...

You’re Already Looking Pretty Goth There Garrett…

If you are an old school gamer, you may remember the true king of stealth. I’m not talking about Dishonored’s Corvo, nor Spilnter Cell’s Sam Fisher, I’m talking the grand-daddy of all stealth games: Thief and its subsequent sequels. In these games (which you should give a try if you never have), you played Garrett, a Master Thief who din’t give two shits about what was going on. He was in it for the loot and nothing out. He was a great character, one of the first real anti-heroes of gaming, a sort of medieval batman, but with blackjack and hookers.

Well, as you might imagine, the video-game industy, in there quest for new material, decided, “Hey, lets remake Thief rather than think up something new!” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m actually pretty pumped for this. Dishonored was the most fun I’ve had in a single player game in ages, and the Steam-punk setting of the Thief world makes me giddy, but then there was this gem from the Eidos Montreal devBlog.

“I was referring specifically to a previous Garrett design we tried out internally and not Garrett from the previous games. Our early design went a LOT more gothic – with black nails etc – but we thought that this wasn’t true to the legacy of Garrett so we pulled it back a bit. Returning to something more true to the original Garrett is what I meant when I said we made him more ‘mainstream’, this wasn’t a comment about the direction of the game,” he continued. “I can assure you we’re huge fans of the original games and we’ve done our homework to create a game that maintains the essence of the original. I can’t wait to show you more of the game and Garrett soon!”

This written in response to reports the Garrett was being made more Gothic, and consider this the point where my reservations are starting. It is absolutely fine to re-make a game. It is 100% okay to rework it, give it a fresh coat of paint and start fresh, hell even go the route of the prequel. But DO NOT change the main character significantly. This is a hanging offense. Look at the most recent Devil May Cry; They changed Dante significantly, and even the most amazing hack-and-slash gameplay since ever couldn’t save them from fan backlash.

DON’T CHANGE GARRETT. I’m begging you….